Everybody loves their mp3 players, cars, computers, and those jeans you saved up way to much money for. What people don't realize is that those aren't the only things of value. Sure, you can always have your things of financial value, but never forget the importance of those "priceless" moments.
Its late at night and my bones feel weak, my body needs sleep. The cold hits my body and shocks it, as I wait to hop in. The bubbles roar and the water turns bright blue. My foot slowly glides in and is instantly relieved. The water is almost too hot, but its not. My body slips in to a deep relaxation. I let out a sigh and indulge in the hot tub's massaging water.
Every night I can, I go in my neighbors hot tub. Its pretty rare but since she lives right behind me, i try to make it happen. Teddy Bear's Pool & Spa, is my favorite company in the world. I would give anything at night to hit the water. Because there too expensive and I have a pool, my parents won't buy one. I've been in that hot tub so many times, i know the best seat, how everything works, which days they clean it, and were the hot spot is. I can feel the ridges, and adjust the jets. Its like its my own. In fact, every time I use it, i have to wipe it down, even though its not mine, and I use it with my neighbor.
While I'm waiting to get in the hot tub, my body is wrapped in a bathrobe. I'm normally trying to refrain from stepping on snow, (I use it most in the winter), or not slipping on the ice. Normally we have some sort of hot hot drink like hot chocolate or Chi, even though it doest really warm us up.Now that we step into the hot tub, its hard to go in fast. The water is so hot that you have to be careful about how long you stay in or you have to take breaks. When its winter, we like to play dare, mostly when we were younger but we would have to roll in snow or run around the house covered in snow...something along those lines.
My heart is racing. My hands clutch to the wooden bar. I look in the mirror; my body is poised and rounded. I lift up on my toes in my point shoes. My teacher tells me to let go, and do a Shena turn. I sweat and shyly refuse. she takes my hand and gently pulls it away. I'm balancing on my toes, and it hurts. I love that feeling though. My arms are in first, and I choose my spot. I nod my head and try not to shake. My body spins and i finally did it.
For a few weeks I've been taking point lessons. I bought new shoes that have a wooden box, that's were my toes go. After putting on my toe spacers, toe pads, tights, and lambs wool, I'm ready to in my 5Th lesson. Now I have to warm up on the bar and slide into my splits. My feet are ready and its time for the exercises. The funny music plays and i laugh with the other girls. We pretend were real ballet dancers on Broadway. I just started taking these lessons this year and i already have blisters and funny looking feet. I takes so much poise, flexibility, and hard work and practice.....but i love it. With out a doubt, its my favorite part of the week. Even though it runs till ten o' clock on a Monday night, and I'm hungry, exhausted, and thirsty. Without this activity, i wouldn't own those cool shoes and i wouldn't be able to do the splits witch is something that I am proud of.
The feeling of hot tubes kind of reminds me of going up on point. With hot tubs, its so hot it kind of hurts but its a good kind of pain. That's just like point, where when you go up and off the bar, especially for the first time, it hurts with a burning pain but it feels good. That really made me think of the two as similar. Also, the longer your in a hot tub, the more weightless and numb you feel. It's the same with point. Your toes and feet start to feel numb the longer you do it and when you get better, you feel more weightless.
I love both of these items with different values, point with the feeling, and the hot tub, a costly value. I treat both with respect because even though one is worth money and the other isn't, i still wouldn't want either of these things to go away or break. When it's cold out, i would prefer the hot tub, but when I'm full of energy i would rather be getting it out with stretches and delicate footwork. If I'm in a bad or good mood, either of these things would make me very happy or happier then before.
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4 comments:
I. In the introductory paragraph, she does a good job of grabbing the reader’s attention by talking about how we waste all our money on fancy, expensive gadgets that we really don’t need. Then she goes on to explain how there’s more to life than dollar-value.
II. I think she did a great job of describing both the priceless moment and the shoes, but I cannot relate to pointing very well, so I would have to say that she described the hot tub scene a bit better. Although it has been a long time, I have been in a hot tub before, and I completely agree, the sensation you feel when you body is submerged in the steaming hot water is a combination of great relief, relaxation, and a little bit of pain that you can tolerate. Well done.
III. One of the essay’s great strengths was comparing the object and the moment, telling about how they both give you a sensation of happiness and pain, but a kind of pain that, odd as it may sound, can actually be quite enjoyable because it is actually an essential part of the experience.
IV. One suggestion that I would have for this essay is to make sure that you stay on topic. In the scene describing the hot tub, you began talking about how you used to play games with your friend when you were younger, which isn’t really relevant to talking about right now. Other than that, there were just a few typos and some points where you used the wrong “there,” “their,” or “they’re.” Small things. Overall, very good job!
This was a great essay. They are trying to say that not only things that cost something are the only valuable things in life. What they are saying is valuable to them are there neighbors hottub and point.
I thought her description of hte hot tub was well described. She was very descriptive on why she loves it. "i know the best seat, how everything works, which days they clean it, and were the hot spot is. I can feel the ridges, and adjust the jets. Its like its my own. In fact, every time I use it, i have to wipe it down, even though its not mine, and I use it with my neighbor."
I think the writers introduction was the strongest part of her essay. It really got me thinking that not only things with that cost you something are valuable, but memories you love and will never forget.
Something the writer could work on is her grammar. She needs to also work on her capitalization a lot." know the best seat, how everything works" You should capitalize the I. But, overall you did a awesome job.
1. In the first paragraph, Nicole does a very good job at describing how people value material items WAY too much now a day. I thought her opening was very good.
2. In Nicole's essay, I could see her at her point lesson wanting to accomplish her turn, but I could tell her nervousness due to context clues and description. I thought Nicole did a very good job with her descriptions.
3. I thought Nicole's strength was her descriptions. I could see her and her neighbor's running around the house covered in snow or doing any other crazy dares they could think of. Also she had very nice, vivid descriptions.
4. The only thing I think Nicole needs to work on is some mini grammatical errors here or there, but overall did an awesome job!
GO NICOLE/STUMP! :)
Nicole overall wrote her essay very well. In her intro. she explained how money is wasted on unnessesary things but then describes how there are things that don't need to be bought and expensive to mean something to you.
She described both of her valuables very well but I think her hot tub description was very well written. Her pointe shoes description however was very good since I can relate to what she had talked about.
(continued later)
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